i am back to track where i bounded to be, a conqueror.

i am writing this on my way back plane after spending six-weeks semester holiday, i could say i am mentally better than i was before my flight back home. jakarta has given me what i wanted the most during my first one semester in surabaya; the warmth of a home, the eucalyptus-like familiarity, so calming. though here’s a thing that i could not believe comes from me; that i somehow, weirdly enough, missed surabaya and its nearly forty degrees weather. there’s a day in my six-weeks holiday that i craved the authentic nasi bebek (because apparently it tasted different in jakarta?? which i could not understand till now). 

suddenly i am reminded by a quote i stumbled upon on the internet. i don't remember the exact quotes but it was somewhat “once you were gone you would not feel whole again, because you left your pieces of heart in every place you stayed.” and now i could empthatize this quote a lot. it felt like i left somewhat a crumbling pieces of my heart back in my indekos room at Gubeng, which seems i could not bring again to my home, my childhood room back in jakarta. its weird, yet its fascinating how a completely new place had given to me. 

same goes with how i left the bigger portion of my heart back in jakarta. i could not sleep last night trying to pack every piece of my heart into my carrier, which seems impossible by the morning so, i left it again as it is, hoping those pieces would welcome me home with the same warmth five months from now. 

now that i think of those pieces, its such a pity that i couldnt bring those along to surabaya. the pieces i collected through my eighteen years worth of living there, and now had been added by the kindness of my friends that i met during my holiday stay. the trip to museums, picnics, libraries, even when the time i have my friends over my house. i’ll missed that pieces a lot though im sure it would not go anywhere in five months. 

i have been on a plane since 6 am in the morning and its 7am already. i just finished 50 pages of “Anne Frank’s Diary” and my plane is scheduled to be arrived 10 minutes from now. i can already see the soil of surabaya

maybe i was bound to do things this way, to collect and left pieces behind. so i’ll felt like home everywhere (though no places would be as comfortable as jakarta) everytime i came back. 

maybe… this is the way i’ll conquer the world with those pieces i left behind.

best regards,

klaire x